I apologize to my family and friends – When I was in my drug induced psychosis in the hospital & following at home I was Benedict Arnold and my caregivers were Hitler. The doctors & health care professionals do not prepare the patient or their caregivers for what to expect and how to deal with each other in their drug induced states. They just say it varies per individual. I hope to somehow make a difference via some type of education program for patients and their caregivers.
Promises for the future
I have so much I want to share with each of you. I am filled with a love and concern for each of you in a way I never was capable of before. But when you have a brush with death and a glimpse into heaven you need to have your affairs in order and you look at re-ordering your life and priorities.
I have built an empire with AIS to the exclusion of my family and friends’ relationships. I’m proud of the organization and the over 2000 families we’ve assisted in adopting a baby over the past 19 years. But now it’s time for me to be the Director of AIS, not meet with over 100 families a year (twice). I have the best staff who is going to be able to carry on as well or better than me doing it.
I’ve learned that the OBSESSIVE CONTROL that I previously ruled with should be replaced by a calm, gentle, free will obedience to my God, family and friends.
My son, though very crudely as a 21 year old boy, helped me realize that he and all members of my family had a free will and that I could not dictate what was best for them. I’ve seen several lessons of how my imperfect plans for the day, the week, the future are changed by God’s more Perfect plan. I have developed two kinds of breathes. One is an anxious controlling kind of breath and the other is a deep, cleansing, spiritual breath that gives me peace and a calm I’ve never known before.
During the remainder of my recovery at least 6 weeks ending January 23, 2009, I would love to visit with you since I’m off from work ( sort of), especially those I didn’t see at the party. Please email me when you can come by as I’d love to visit with you. Truly I’ve learned that my family & friends and My God are what counts in this world.
God bless you all & I AM VERY HAPPY to be alive and see the healing of my family.
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