I HAVE A FAMILY

This is mainly for you in letting folks at church know how I'm doing, but I also copied the staff so they'll know too.

First of all Greg thanks for all your help with your visits surrounding my surgery and my Dad's passing. I don't expect you all to understand the spiritual experience I am having, but believe it is not only very real but very unique. Certainly if you have insight into what I'm experiencing I'd welcome talking with you further. Could you also help me get in touch with Joe Sandifer since he was our pastor the majority of my PPC membership and I look at him as a gentle older shepherd who I need spiritual guidance from. He has been through death with many people & may be able to comfort me with his experience. I know he may still be recovering from his own knee surgery so if I need to come to him it is very possible.

After my staple removal appointment on Friday I am very aware of what I can & can't do. I'm also learning obedience instead of the steroid, drug induced state of total control and edict that I previously acted with. To be obedient to my God and respect each of my family members needs and voice in the family decisions.

This Christmas I am experiencing for the first time the true meaning and I NOW HAVE A FAMILY AND I LOVE THEM. I believe the tator tumor caused much of my previous behavior, etc.

Now to how I am doing....knew I'd get here.
Currently I am one day away from getting off of those awful steriods that made me SUPER DUPER WOMAN. The combo of drugs and interaction was something the patient (me) and my poorly beloved family caregivers weren't prepared to handle nor educated as such. I hope to make it possible for more patient/caregiver education.

The nurse I met with at Emory Clinic yesterday said, (Olivia (Newton John) black version), a sweet gentle Godly soul, "Darlin', I want you to think and think alot, just remove the anxiety and worry because that's what hurts you. I now am having peaceful sleep at night with a few vivid dreams showing me how dad is working in heaven to heal his earthly family.

I found out that I will have a post op appt with the doctor 6 weeks from surgery on January 23, 2009, and that is where I will learn if I am ready to go back to work, drive, lift, bend, etc. When I checked out of the hospital I was not told to make any appt but with the nurse for staple removal. The six-week recovery was a surprise for me.

Current limitations include lifting no more than 10 pounds, not bending down or leaning the head down, resting when my body tells me to and it does now since weaning off the medications. I have two breathes - an anxious breath that tells me to take the deep spiritual breath of God & be calm.

I need help not trying to take control, but learned from my son yesterday in his most crude 21 year old way that each of us has a free will and I can't dictate my desires only. Then I learned about obedience versus control.

We're going to my Mom's now as she wants the family members to get as much as possible from Dad's things. She prefers to give to those who she knows, then later to GoodWill or a charity. Know any men who need shoes & wear a 8 1/2 D? Mom hasn't found a recipient for them.